The Ugly Truth Revealed

You know, there is one thing that I hate about reading other people's blogs... It's that it always makes me feel bad about myself and wonder why I can't do it all. Everyone else seems to have it all together on their blogs, don't they? They cook, clean, have nifty ideas that they came up with all on their own and it appears that they have the most amazing childhood dream laid out for their children each day. I bet those kids can't wait to get up and see what their moms have planned for them today. Does anyone else feel that way? I saw this on Pinterest today and it made me think of it.

I don't know if it like this for anyone else, but I find that if I'm reading someone's blog that I actually know... then it makes me feel even worse. It's "Inspiring" if it's someone I don't know. ha ha  (Why is that? Or is it just me?)

I have to remind myself that it's rare for people to reveal the "ugly truths" in their lives. And really, who wants to post the 'ugly truth'? It's not stuff you want to remember for the most part. It's like that line on the movie "Just Married" when they are looking at a picture book and his dad says something about how the good pictures/good times gets you from one picture to the next.

Well, I wanted to post about my "ugly truths" and I know this makes me extremely vulnerable to people's judgements, but here goes...

The truth is:

• I hate doing laundry and there is always a LARGE, OVERSIZED pile of it either waiting to be done or waiting to be put away. This has been my life long battle. But, it has proceeded to grow to insurmountable measures when you add the laundry for each addition to my little family. Jeremy does more laundry than I do.
• My kids fight constantly and it drives me nuts to hear them pushing each others buttons all day long.
• I have constant food on my floors and sometimes I don't clean it up right away because I am sick of cleaning it up every five seconds. This is something I never thought I'd do.
• My kids don't like to eat anything healthy. I really try to keep their junk food intake down to a minimum so that they can eat good meals, but sometimes they would rather starve than eat anything I have to make.
• I LOVE making treats! Whether it's to have a movie night with the family or take them to someone (or intend on taking them), I make a lot of them and I eat a lot of them! It is more fun (to me) than cooking something healthy. Everyone gets excited for treats... no one gets excited when you say, "Hey guess what? I just made this great recipe out of quinoa today. Want some?"
• Sometimes I'm so mad at my kids I want to send them far, far, farrrr away (like back to the USA) and then feel bad about it.
• Sometimes I would rather go days with out talking to my husband than to talk about what is bothering me because I don't want to fight about it.
• I'm perpetually late to just about everything. Even when I try, it seems that something happens that stops my efforts... like one of the kids will have a major poop blow out the moment we step foot out of our front door.
• I can't stand to hear my kids whining and crying. I have to send my children into the other room where they can cry and scream before they come out to talk to me ("talk" being the operative word).
• I'm in debt, I'm in debt, I'm in debt... I haven't used a credit card in three years, but the debt still follows me like a bad nightmare!
• I don't like to exercise. I like the way I feel afterwards and I like the feeling of accomplishment, but I never get excited to do it.
• I often feel like it's pointless to show up to church because I spend most of the time walking my kids around in the halls and don't always feel like I'm getting anything out of being there.
•  Although this is supposed to be "the time of my life" from what others tell me, sometimes it STILL SUCKS!
• Sometimes I find myself being fake to people only because I'm too afraid to let my guard down.
• I go to therapy and am always worried I'm doing something wrong that is going to mess my kids up forever.
• I miss my friends and family back home and want to hang out at their houses. I really miss that feeling of relaxing comfort and not having to worry if they like me when I'm having a good day or a bad day.
• When something comes up that I don't understand culturally here, I just pretend I do because it's exhausting to be the one that doesn't get it all the time.
• I'm sorry that I don't want to home school, but I'm looking forward to my kids "GOING" to school (going, going, going)
• I hardly ever do my hair and make up anymore. Sometimes I feel like it's a luxury to shower. I've been told this is a phase from my kids being young, but I don't like feeling 'non-cute' all the time. But when it comes down to how I spend my time, it doesn't seem to make sense to spend time getting ready while my children watch t.v. (since it's winter here) and then have absolutely no one see me. Why spend time doing it?
• And for the people that CAN do it all? Good for freakin' you! ;)

 BUT...

• I TRY EVERY DAY to be better! There's not one thing I wrote down above that I'm not actively working on. And when I succeed from one thing from the list, one new ugly truth will take it's place.